


Breathe

by KanerTazerFluff



Series: Breath [1]
Category: Jonathan Toews/Patrick Kane - Fandom, Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews - Fandom
Genre: Crying, Gay, Heartbreak, Hurt, M/M, Near Death Experience, Nightmares, Random - Freeform, sensitive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 12:33:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3692454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KanerTazerFluff/pseuds/KanerTazerFluff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonny wakes up to being kicked in the leg and slapped in the chest by a frantic Kaner, it takes him a second to analyze what is going on. He jumps up and looks at him, his eyes are still closed but he is thrashing, struggling, choking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathe

"Is he okay, Jonny?" Sharpy says softly from the seat in front of Jonny and Kaner.  
Jonny shrugs 'I don't know' with a concerned look on his face. Kaner is asleep on his lap.  
Kaner took a horrible hit in the game in Toronto tonight. Cross checks are already dangerous enough as it is but flat out clothes pinning somebody in the neck against the boards is more than dangerous, it's fatal. Kessel swears it was an accident and even took the penalty without any fuss but that didn't help that he nearly strangled Patrick Kane with his stick.  
Kaner is a tough little cookie though. He was knocked out but woke up before they could load him into the ambulance- though Jonny kind of wishes he hadn't now, because he flipped. He started desperately crying for Jonny and refused to let them take him. The paramedic came and got Jonny but Kaner still wouldn't go. He has been acting funny ever since.  
"Are you going to make him go to the doctor when we get home?" Sharpy prods.  
Jonny just looks at Sharpy, too rattled himself to even think straight.  
Sharpy flashes them a sympathetic look and turns back around, leaning his head back on the seat.  
Jonny looks at Kaner, his eye lids are both faded purple.  
Jonny will never get that scene out of his head. Kaner getting pinned, his feet dangling, falling to the ice, getting resuscitated. Jonny was yelling Kaner's name but he knew he couldn't get in their way.  
His lashes flutter, curled over his pink, swollen cheeks.  
The lights start blinking for them to buckle for landing. Jonny slowly straps his own belt then carefully buckles Kaners. He shifts.  
Jonny puts everything in place for the flight attendant to check and shifts his arm so Kaner is somewhat sitting up- but he doesn't wake up. 

Kaner goes into the bathroom before the long ride back home, Jonny paces outside. 

"Jonathan." somebody says from a few feet away. Jonny turns around, Q.  
"Are you going to take him to a hospital?" coach prods.  
"I don't know if I can, you know Kaner, he is scared to death of them." Jonny says clearly shaken up.  
"Don't play dumb, Jonny!" Q snaps.  
"What?" he asks innocently.  
"Jonny, that kid is wrapped around your finger. He will do whatever you want."  
Jonny knows it's kind of true but he hates pushing Kaner.  
"I wont let anything happen to him coach."  
"Jonny, this is nothing to take lightly."  
"Fucking, really?" Jonny snaps almost yelling.  
"Yes! This is serious, it could end his career!" Q barks in retaliation.  
"That's all you fucking care about isn't it! Not the fact that he nearly died out there, he still cant breathe straight and that's what you're thinking about! He could still fucking die for all we know!" Jonny says so loud most of the crowd is looking.  
"Better get it figured out then." Q says stepping into his chest.  
"Fuck off." he says turning his back and walking a few feet in the other direction, clutching his fists. 

Jonny turns a second later to see Kaner in the men's room doorway, his eyes are watering. Q is looking at Jonny, wondering how he is going to handle his precious star player. Jonny has no idea how long he has been standing there.

"Kaner, come on." Jonny says not wanting to lose it in front of the whole airport, 

Kaner looks terrified but he lets Jonny pull him away by the wrist. 

Jonny lets his hand go, grabbing both of their suitcases, holding them by the handles and tearing through the exit. Kaner tags along behind. 

Jonny throws the suitcases in the back of Kaner's black hummer and climbs in the drivers seat. He rests his head on the wheel, breathing in and out. Kaner slides in the front. He waits a minute then says: "Jonny. Babe, calm down. Please?" With one hand on his arm. Jonny inhales deeply. 

"I'm sorry Kaner, you know how Q makes me." Jonny says sighing. Jonny and Q have never gotten along but Kaner knows that. 

"It's okay, let's just go home and get some sleep." he says comfortingly. 

Jonny nods and backs out of the lot. 

The drive home is oddly silent. 

 

Jonny crawls into bed next to Kaner. 

"Babe?" Kaner says. 

"Can you get me some water?" he asks casually. 

Jonny is used to being Kaner's little bitch but he wouldn't have turned him down today even if he wasn't. He goes to the bathroom and fills a Dixie cup with cold water and brings it to Kaner. 

He swallows it in two gulps. 

"Want some more?" Jonny asks before climbing in bed. 

"No, thanks." Kaner says pushing his pillow. 

Jonny lays down and holds his arm out open for Kaner, who snuggles into his neck. Jonny shuts off the lamp with his other hand but the room is still dim lit by the night light Kaner insists on having. It bugs Jonny but he knows Kaner is scared of the dark, so he goes with it. 

"Jonny?" Kaner asks once they're all settled. 

"Yeah, bud?" 

"Did we win?" 

Jonny gets confused for a minute. Win what? The game? Did nobody tell him? It feels like so long ago for some reason. 

"Um...well not exactly..." Jonny says not wanting to sound to harsh telling him of the loss. 

"Why?" Kaner asks like a little kid. 

"They scored more goals than us, Kaner." Jonny says trying to avoid explaining anything else. 

"How bad?" Kaner sighs. 

Jonny takes a deep breath. 

"5-1." 

"My goal?" Kaner says as a question, which throws Jonny. He had totally forgotten Kaner had scored the only goal of the game before the incident. 

"Yup." 

"What happened?" He asked. 

"I don't know, I was with you." 

Jonny and Kaner are obviously the core of the Hawks but I don't think either of them realized it until then how necessary they really were.

Jonny can feel Kaner shaking his head. 

"Don't worry about it. It's one game." Jonny says, knowing well Kaner takes every single loss personally. 

"I can't." Kaner says plainly. 

"It's not your fault, baby." Jonny says. 

"Get some sleep, you've had a long day." Jonny adds, pushing the hair off of Kaners forehead. 

"Okay, JJ." Kaner says already half asleep. 

Jonny leans in and kisses him on the cheek then on the mouth. 

"I love you." Kaner says softly when he pulls away. 

"I love you more." Jonny says as always. Kaner giggles, as always and drifts asleep on Jonnys arm, as always.

Jonny takes a while to fall asleep, he just watches Kaner breath. In and out, in and out. Trying not to think about that moment he wasn't.

Finally Jonny falls asleep too, listening to Kaners light snoring but is jolted awake at the sound of his cell phone vibrating on the night stand. Kaner, who sleeps like a rock doesn't even flinch. 

Jonny nuzzles away from Kaner, expecting it to be one of the guys, calling about a play, which is more common than Jonny wishes it was. He creeps into the hall and looks at the screen, Joel. Jonny's veins nearly explode just looking at the name but he answers anyway. 

"What could you possibly want?" Jonny opens up.

"Did you take Patrick to the hospital?" he barks.

"Yes that's exactly what I am doing at four in the morning." Jonny says sarcastically. 

"Well what a great boyfriend you are, not even caring your boyfriend could die." He says flatly. 

"Excuse me?" Jonny feels the fire starting to flow again. 

"How stupid are you Toews?" Q's voice is heating up too.

"I fucking told you, I'm not gonna let anything happen to Kaner!" He says as quietly as he can but comes out pretty loud anyway. 

"What are you gonna do if he stops breathing, know CPR, Jonny boy? Oh wait you'll be sleeping so even if you did-" Jonny interrupts Q, full on yelling now. 

"Shut the fuck up! You have no fucking right to say that!" Jonny snaps. 

"I'm not the one who wants him to die." Q says seemingly satisfied with himself. 

"To die! You think I want him to die!? Fuck Joel, like almost seeing him almost die right in front of me wasn't bad enough, I need my fucking coach telling me I want him to die!?" Jonnys voice is cracking as the tears well up. 

"Of course not! So take him!" Q yells back. 

"Fuck you!" Jonny yells.

"His whole season could end If you don't get this checked out! Do you even care about him at all?" 

"Do I care about him! Fucking really! He nearly fucking suffocated out there but all you're worried Is your precious fucking star player not being able to put up goals so you get a fat fucking paycheck!! Fuck you!" 

"Sure, Jonny, whatever you say. No that's what you have Kaner for, but wait," he cracks again. 

Jonny throws his phone at the far wall before he can hear the rest. Then he throws his fist back and punches a huge hole in the dry wall. 

"FUCK!" he yells as his throbbing fist comes out. Jonny is panting. He nearly throws another but stops just before his fist hits. He breaths in and out. 

Jonny snaps 180 back toward the door and nearly trips when a giant bundle is sitting in the doorway. 

Jonny is thrown back, scared shitless. All the anger drains when he sees what is going on. Kaner sitting on the floor of the doorway, crying hysterically. 

"Kaner." Jonny kneels down next to him. 

He is huffing into a throw pillow. 

"Kaner, baby, what's wrong?" He says poking at him. 

Kaner full on lunges into Jonny. Jonny holds him in his arms as Kaner cries into his chest. 

"Kaner, Kaner." he says trying to get him to calm down. 

"Am I going to die, Jonny?" he says, hyperventilating. 

So he heard the call too. 

"Kaner, no. Joel is just being a cunt, okay?" Jonny holds the back of head and pushes his face against his bare chest. 

"What happened, Jonny!?" It's only then Jonny realized Kaner doesn't remember that either. 

"Kaner, you have to calm down for me. Okay?" Jonny starts rubbing his back. 

Kaner is still huffing into Jonnys neck but tries holding his breath. 

"Atta kid, ssshhh." Jonny squeezes him. 

Jonny gives Kaner a minute to catch his breath. He finally pulls away from him and leans back to the wall, both still sitting on the floor. 

"Jonny," he says still studdering.

"What happened?" 

Jonny takes a deep breath, never thinking he would have to cross this bridge. 

"Come here, Kaner." He says opening his arms again. Kaner nezzles upright into them. 

"Well, Kessel, he-" Jonny isn't usually the sensitive one but telling the story for the first time burns as it comes out his mouth. 

"he cross checked you in the neck and it pinned you up against the boards." he tells in pieces. 

"He held you off the ground for a good three seconds like that and." he chokes up

"You fell and got the wind knocked out of you again and" Jonny closes his eyes for the last part and he takes a deep breath.

"You stopped breathing." he says slowly. 

Kaner is quiet for a minute. 

"So you all thought I was dead?" Kaner says flatly. 

Jonny hadn't thought of the word 'dead' yet but I guess yes. 

"Kaner, you were down for two and a half minutes before you started breathing again." Jonny says not wanting to answer straight up. 

"Were you there?" Kaner asks shyly. 

"Yeah but they wouldn't let me near you." 

"Were you scared?" 

Jonny nearly freaks at that question but answers truthfully. 

"Kaner, I was beyond scared." 

"I'm okay though, right?" he says starting to cry again. 

"Well, Kaner, it would really help me if you went to the doctor, just to be sure." 

He hesitates but says "Okay Jonny." 

The two sit like that for a long long time. Jonny running his fingers through Kaners long hair, Kaner holding onto Jons forearm so tightly it burns, his head on Jons chest. 

Jonny finally decides they need to go back to bed. 

"Come on, Kaner." he says getting up. Kaner doesn't really budge. It's then Jonny sees that he is asleep. Jonny cant help but smile. Smile at those big-purple-fluttering eyes. 

Jonny slides his arm under Kaners knees and one under his back and picks him up. Kaner nuzzles his head deeper into Jonnys chest. Jonny kisses his hair and lays him on his bed. Jonny twists in next to him but Kaner rolls away, which isn't exactly okay with Jonny but he just slides his hand on his side so he can feel him breath. Jonny falls asleep again. 

This time was no more restful though. Jonny wakes up to being kicked in the leg and slapped in the chest by a frantic Kaner, it takes him a second to analyze what is going on. He jumps up and looks at him, his eyes are still closed but he is thrashing, struggling, choking. 

Jonny flips. 

"Kaner!" He yells, jolting him. 

"Kaner!" He shakes him, violently. 

He throws himself up so fast he nearly headbutts Jonny. 

"Jonny!" his voice yells. 

Jonny is practically on his hip but he yells again. 

"Jonny!" This time more desperate. 

"Kaner, Kaner, what!?" Jonny jumps on him. 

This time Kaner finally wakes up. Jonny quickly turns on the light. 

Kanes face is the same shade of purple it was when they pulled him off the ice. 

Jonny is horrified. 

"Oh my God! Kaner, what happened!?" Jonny says not even fully comprehending what happened.

Kaner jumps on Jonny again. 

"Jonny, I saw it." He says crying. 

"Saw what?" Jonny asks dumbly. 

"I saw everything Jonny, I felt everything."

"Kaner, I-I'm so sorry." Jonny squeezes him. 

Kaner starts hyperventilating again. 

"Kaner breath, babe, you cant do this right now, calm down, please!" Jonny begs but that only makes Kaner cry harder. Jonny can see his face getting darker, his lungs already deprived of oxygen from the nightmare. 

"Kaner, stop!" Jonny yells but Kaner sucks in breaths short and rapidly. 

His face has gone from purple to blue. 

"Kaner!" he panics. 

"We gotta go to the hospital!" Jonny freaks. 

He swoops Kaner up like a little kid and runs out the door and down the stairs. He doesn't bother with shoes or a shirt. He throws Kaner in the front seat and speeds out of the driveway. 

Half way to the hospital Kaner starts breathing normal again. 

"Jonny, Jonny, Im okay." He says panting. 

Jonny looks at him desperately. 

"Kaner, we need to go make sure you're okay." Jonny says seriously.

"Jonny, it was a bad dream, I'm fine." Kaner begs. 

"Kaner! You could be seriously hurt!" Jonny barks. 

Kaner lays his head in his hands and breaths deeply. Jonny mentally monitors it. 

By the time they're at the hospital the sun is peering out and its pushing seven. 

Jonny runs to Kaners door. 

"Can you get out?" he says hands ready to catch him like he is going to fall. 

"I'm okay, Jonny." he says using his shoulder as a balance. 

They walk into the hospital. His eyes are still purple and his face is the shade of a red grape. 

The waiting room is empty, thank god.

Jonny explains to the nurse what happened and she puts them in a room. A doctor comes in shortly after to which Jonny has to explain everything again. 

"Well, you've had quite the night haven't you, Mr.Kane?" he says. 

Kaners eyes are as big as saucers and he is shaking, Kaner hates doctors.

"Can I check your pulse?" he asks after nobody answers. 

Kaner reluctantly holds out his wrist. 

The doctor takes it and looks at his watch. 

"Gee kid, I thought you came in here 'cuz you weren't breathing!" he jokes. 

Jonny gets an offended look on his face while Kaner cant help but crack a smile. 

The doc asks a few more questions but Jonny ends up answering most of them while Kaner inches closer into Jonnys side. 

"Okay, well, boys do you want the good news or the bad news first?" 

The boys look at eachother. 

"Oh for fucks sake." Jonny says walking away from the table. Kaner starts shivering, watching him like a hawk, making sure he doesn't get out of sight. 

"Well." the doc starts. 

"Patrick," Jonny reluctantly walks back over and Kaner wraps both his arms around his waist. 

"You're okay, physically, anyway but in near death experiences, people often have nightmares and they can kill you." he says more serious then he has been the whole time. 

"How?" Jonny snaps. 

"Well, you see, when Patrick dreamed this moment, he relived it like it happened, his body stopped breathing, because he was feeling what he was seeing, its all psychiatric but its the same effect." 

Jonny nearly faints. Kaners eyes swell up again. 

"You need to go see a psychologist right now." he says handing Jonny a note. 

"And may I speak to you alone, Mr.-" he cuts off waiting for Jonny to fill in his name.

"Toews." 

"Taves" the doctor repeats. 

Kaner squeezes Jonny tighter.

"Mr.Kane, would you mind sitting out on that bench for a moment?" he says softer. 

Jonny pushes Kaner off the bench and walks him outside. 

"Jonny, please don't leave me!" soft tears streaming from Kaners eyes. 

"It'll just be a minute, little Kaner." Jonny comforts. 

"You'll be okay." Jonny wipes the tears off of Kaners cheeks. 

"I will be right back."


End file.
